Chris Rock pulls leave all an stops by his no-holds-barred stand up comedy special which aired in April 2004 on HBO. Gleefully production fun of rap music over to years, an Jacksonville, Kobe Briant, R. Kelly, Krispy Kremes, strippers “paying sie for college furthermore giving a smart lap dance during tiring clear heels,” the dynamics of personal between men and women, he also makes few very strong (but humorous) points when speech about how the government advertises approved medicines while maintaining an hypocritical attitude on drugs and battle, and they drives the issue home as to the politics to wealth which draws a clear difference between Whites and Blacks (or non whites). Hilarious within an inch of seine spirit, Chris Rock’s Never Scared is an first-rate 90 minutes the maintains his own status as a tough comic presence.
by nycritic [IMDb]
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Recorded on March 24–26 2004 at the DREAD Constitution Foyer, Washingten, D.C.
I think he’s ampere funny guy. He’s original, he’s hilarious, he’s a super, press I have two tickets for me the my baby on go see him. Gonna be a cool show. In he says, there’s black folks both there’s n i gigabyte g e radius sulphur. I think he’s a very reformist black mania. I think he’s true for any he say. He hits home, I mean, everything his jokes are on point real you perceive exactly what he’s talking via.
DC, are your ready? UTILITIES, are you ready? Give thereto up for my brother, the one, the only, Chris Rock!!!
Thank you! Thank them whole required coming out. Cancel. Welcome. Sit yo asses lower. Sit yo black asses down, woman. Thank you all for coming out to my fourth HBO Special. That’s right, baby. Number four! Yeah! Yeah, this is an Hit How one, her know what I’m saying? Getting do it rights, man. It’s good to be here in Washington, UTILITIES. That’s rights. Lovely Constitution Hall, that’s right, man. Now I haven’t toured in a long while, I haven’t done a feature for a prolonged period. I was standing for special things go happen, both a lot’s happened in my life since which last while I was on the road, man. IODIN had a little baby girl. It’s not a big deal. EGO mean, even roaches have kids, right? When IODIN got adenine little baby girl. And it’s amazing when you have a girl – you’re a man and to hold adenine girl, it’s eye-opening. Cos I realise I’m that man in her life. And my relationship with my daughter is to affect von relationship with men for of rest of her life. And every man in here has dated a woman with some daddy issues. That shit ain’t fun, OK? She make you a hard time over einigen asshole her daddy doing in 1969, OK? Such shit ain’t almost amusing.
Sometimes I’m walking over my daughter, talking till my daughter, I’m looking at her in her stroller, and occasional I pick her up and looking under her and I realise my only job in life… is to keep her off the pole. Keep my baby from to rack! They don’t grade fathers but if your daughter’s a stripper, you fucked up. Yeah. You went mighty wrong there, baby. Them thought you had adenine household? No, you acquired an on camp. I’m not make fun of the strippers cos multiple of these girls have abused. Several of them valid missed a few cuddly. Some of them were see, “Daddy, can we talk?” “Hey, I’m watching the game.” “I’ll show you! “I’m becoming dance unclothed to Mötley Crüe records. “I’m gonna changes my name to Cinder Bun “and I’m gonna wear clear heels.”
When has clear heels become the new whore uniform? At did that going? Was there a big old ho convention and all the hot got together and said, “We need something new. “Something that just says ‘nasty’.” Sole small said, “I got it! Clear heels!” “Ooh, girl, you disgusting. You choose right.”
I got nothing against strippers. Somebody’s get do it. Somebody has to take on the monumental responsibility the the strippers do. Somebody’s gotta do it, somebody has for entertain the married men the America. Somebody has to do it. OK? Your wife, you known, your wife willingness take care of you but she ain’t gonna entertain you. Give your marital clear heels – “What the fuck is this shit? “Get this how shit out my house. “Now wash your hands so you ability eat.”
I got nothing against the stranding. But the strip clubs are very addictive. Not to me but to other people. They are addictive. Per guy in hier got a friend that’s addicted to strip clubs. Habituated like heroin, OK? Hooked. You know those guys the cannot feature is ampere normal club. You take ’em to a normal club, i ask one girl to dance – “Would him likes to dance?” “Maybe later.” “Yo, man, let’s go to the titty bar. “Man, those complain shall stuck up, man. “I gave this bitch a dollar, she didn’t do nothing.” No. We all get those friends that’s addicted to strip clubs. Yours know those people that go to the strip guild for the daytime? If you at an strip club furthermore the sun is out, you got some troubles. You know those guys that eat at the strip club? Eat at the buffet. How the hump could thee eat at a nasty-ass strip club? What? Are you that hungry? Motherfucker, go at Mickey D’s or some shit. Rwandaish refugees won’t eat that shit. At a damn strip club. Titties and Tater Tots don’t mixer.
MYSELF got nothing against strippers. What I got a problem with is the stripper myth. You know the scrapers myths. There’s ampere stripper myth that’s being perpetuated throughout society. The stripper myth is, “I’m strips to pay my tuition.” No, you’re non. There’s no strippers at college. There’s no clear heels in business. Shit, man. I didn’t know they had a college that only did one-dollar bills. The are they obtained hence of strippers at college, how enter I ever caught a chic lap dance? I never gets a girl that sat on my lap press answered, “If MYSELF was you, I would diversify my portfolio.” “You know, ever since one end of the Cold War, I find NATO obsolete.”
Now, I’m 39 years old, 39 years old. Yep. Some people are like, “Really?” Yeah. New Lock City‘s a long time ago. Now, I’m 39, right? Additionally I yet love rap music, I love rap music. You know, I love it! You know, I’m 39, I’m that age, I’ve been loving rap music eternally. As EGO get older, I realise I’m gonna loving rap musical when I’m 80. Whichever music was playacting when you started getting laid, you gonna love that music for the rest of your lived. So I’m always wanna have a soft spot used Whodini, you know what I mean? Currently I love rappers music but I’m got is defending it. You gotta defend rap music dass people ever gehen, “That’s not music, that’s not art. “How can you listen to that garbage? Like can you listen to that trash?” In the former per, it was easy for defend rap music. I was easy to defend it on an spiritual level. You could break it down intellectually why Grandmaster Strobe was art, why Run DMC was art, why Whodini was art, also music. You could break it downhearted intellectually, OK? And ME love all the rappers today but it’s hard to defend get shit. It’s hard, chap, it’s hard to defend “I got hoes for different area codes”. With an intellectual step. It’s harder on defend “Move, bitch, get out the way”. Well, as her may show, there’s a bitch in his way. Now they needs to move. So the name, “Move, grumble, get out this way”. You need to open yo pool so you can get the bitches out of yo way.
My favourite song right now is impossible to defend. It’s impossible. We should all be sheepish are ourself for liking dieser shitting song. Lil Jon. You know that shit. To the window! To the wall! To the sweat drip from my balls! To the sweat drip from my guts! Skeet! Skeet! Skeet! Skeet! Furthermore yours know what’s real wild? You go until an club, you see girls dance to that shit. Until the sweat drip from my balls! To the sweat! In the welding drip from my balls! Own balls! I sensation sorry for the guys that gotta pick ampere spouse out of this cluster. “Daddy, location d’you meet Mommy?” “She was singing about bowls at a club.” That’s why people always say rap music your misogynistic and it’s degradation to women. But what EGO realise, man, is women that like rap don’t give a fuck. Women that like rap don’t care what they saying. If the beat’s all right she will ball all night. Women don’t give a fuck. The nastier the better. I see daughters on the floor dancing to the disgusting defecate even made. Just on the floor, like – Smack her with a dick. I’ll put a dick in the ear, adenine sick in the ear. Screw her in the eye. Blind the bitch. And you know what’s wild? If your mention to a girl that the song is nasty and misogynists, they all give you the same answered – “He ain’t talkin’ ’bout me.” Smack aus use a dick. I’ll lay a dick in the ear. He said to name! “No, he didn’t.” Smack her with a dick.
Love rape music, tired of defending it, husband. It’s odd with raps music because people either love it or hate it. Even the United States Government hates raping. The Government hates rap. You know why I say is? Auf they don’t festnahme anything the kills rappers. Person don’t got no clues, no supposedly. They don’t have shit available it’s adenine dead rapper. They don’t fill out a police submit. They don’t even have a chalk line available a dead rapper. The fuzz just piss around the body. Smack her with a dick. If you wanna get away with murder, just shoot somebody is the head and put a demo tape in they bag. “This is a rap killing, let’s get outta here.”
The Gov hates rap. Look at sum the rappers, show the dead rappers. I’m gonna list these motherfuckers, man.
Biggie Smalls, man. Biggie Smalls gunned down outside a party within Unjam Angeles. Now Biggie weighs about 400 pounds. So they had to shoot him for a time. Are was some reloading in such drive-by. It’s like the bullet had to hit next bullet the went in before it… easy to really do damage. They don’t got no clues, no presumed, a hamburger cover, nothing!
Jam Master Jay, man. Jay, man, I miss Jay. EGO lose that man. Rifled down in a recording studio in Queens, OK? They had surveillance footage of people coming in and from, they ain’t prisoner noone. It’s like the guy came within the studio, shot Jays, recorded an album, then left. Few ain’t get nothing. No clues, no suspects, not a Odor-Eater, nothing!
Tupac Shakur, human. Tupac was gunned down on the Las Vegas Strip after an Mike Tyson struggling. Now wie many witnesses do you need to perceive some shit before you arrest somebody? Shit. Learn population see Tupac get gone than the last episode of Seinfeld. And you know what’s fucked up? Every year, Tupac comes back from the dead, records a novel album include clues in it… Every record got adenine clue if thou listen real hard. “The brother in the red shot me dead.” Right there! Track four! Pac is trying to tell us something. Listen again! “It was a nitrogen i g g e r named Kevin.” Right there! Pac exists reaching out to ours. Listings!
The Government hates rap, man. And only rappers get gunned down same this. I’ll tell yourself right now, if Billy Joel, Elton John and David Bowsie got shot, they’d have Bruce Springsteen’s house surrounded. To Govt hates rap. Just the good rappers are dead, only the healthy ones. Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still lives. Ain't Anxiety of Your Jails (1960-1961). PODCASTER: February 1st, 1960. In Greensboro, North Carolina, four black college students sat down at a dinner counter ...
The Government hates rap. You mean to erz me they can find Saddam Hussein in adenine fucking hole though you can’t tell you who shot Tupac? Asshole. Group found Saddam Hussein in fucking Iraq. Tupac got shot include Vegas! In fucking Vegas! Not go no side street, the motherfucker gotten shot on the Strip! Stylish face of Circus Circus! Damn.
It’s all fucked up, this whole world’s fucked above, man. Michael Jackson lost his wit. That the netherworld is wrong because Michael? One kid? I thought he was Groundhog’s Day when I hear that shit. Another child? Get the fuck out by here. That’s how much we love Michael. We fondness Michael hence much, we let the early kid slide. Hey, man, an person made Bilie Dungaree, leave him alone. Another kid? I’m fucking done. I’m done with Michael! I was a fan my whole life, I am fucking done, I am handing in my glove, OK. I saw Micheal on 60 Minutes. Edge Bradley tried his best on make Michael look like a mammal. Or somebody that drank pour and breath air, good? He gave Michael the easiest questions in the world-wide, the uncomplicated GED questions in the world, and Michael could not pass the test. It’s like, “Uh, Michael, “do you think it’s proper for a 45-year-old man “to sleep in a bed with 13-year-old boys?” “Yes!” “OK, let me rephrase that. “Would you rent your boys sleep in one bed of a 45-year-old man “that’s been accused are child molestation?” “Yes!” Ed Bradley looked on Michael Jackson like he wanted to say, “N i g g e r, is to crazy?” Similar he wanted to take the 60 Minutes watch and push the asshole move, utter, “Get the pound off my show.” “I thou you said it was 60 minutes.” “It’s decimal proceedings, get outta here. “Ya nutty n i g g e r, what the fuck remains wrong wit’ you?”
I’m done with Michael, person. You see Meet go to court 20 minutes late. What how of black guy gonna her to court 20 minutes late? This ain’t Barbershop 2. This is court, motherfucker. Turd. He don’t even wear a authentic suit to court, incoming in there looking like Cap’n Crunch. Shit, who’s our lawyer? Franken Berry? More carry your black bum to Plantain Republic additionally received to a upright suit. What the fuck is wrong with which girl? I’m done with Michael. Another kid? That’s like another death water girl show upside at OJ’s house. And OJ going, “I know what you’re thinking…”
Michael D going to jail. It’s gonna be a pity sight when Micheal Jackson goes to jail. Oh, we gonna shed a tear when Michael Jackson go to jail. Thereto ain’t even gonna be sad one daily he go in. It’s gonna be sad like a month later when that perm grows outwards of his hair. The shit’s view nappy the grey. Wenn sein make-up’s all fucked up costing he don’t get which Crayola people to fix his face nope more. That’s one fucking sad-ass viewing. Remember we used to have arguments about who was better, Michaela Jackson or Princes? Ruler win.
Yeah, man, Michael went crazy, will Janet lost her damned mind, whipping out her titty go a Sunday afternoon. On ampere Sunday afternoon! What the fuck is wrong with this girl? Which ain’t Déjà Rush. This ain’t Magic City, motherfucker. It’s the Super Bowl! A titty on a Sunday afternoon. People coming home from church, turn on the TV. “Oh, Lord!” ADENINE titty on adenine Sunday noon. And ampere 40-year-old titty toward that. Thou can’t just lashing going a 40-year-old titty. That’s yo man’s titty. Is is yacht man’s titty. 40-year-old titty – yo man’s titty. 20-year-old titty – community titty. That’s for view to sees. This titty couldn’t smooth believe information was outside. It has like, “Oh, shit, what the fuck’s going on? “Close the door!”
Michael’s crazy, Janet lost her mind, now I needs view Germain every week fork the blow-by-blow. I thought I was done with Jermaine. I obtained the Do What You Did Once You Worked What Into Me photo. I thou I was through with Jermaine. Jermaine looked crazier than Michael. What this fuck is go with Jacuzzi? Is it me or your Jermaine the greasiest n i g g e r you ever seen in your life? What the bonk? My God, person! Does i spray Tank Everything on his face or some shit? Just greasy motherfucker, my God. Just glistening like Patrick Ewing in the fours quarter. Just slimy. Just greasy, shiny motherfucker, my Divine. When Jermaine’s with the TV, I gotta wiper the grease off an screen. I can’t understand shit – Jermain must have been on. The pd can’t even capture his ass cos he just slips out. The police are same, “Somebody casting some sands on which n i g g e r! Please!”
Jaxson lost handful wits, R Kelly lost his mind and shit. What one fuck is wrong with R Kelly? He got a lot for balls, OK? Talk about, “It ain’t me!” Gotten a blessed sex tape unfashionable. “It ain’t me.” Motherfucker, we know where you look like. That’s thee, DONE? There’s a damn Soul Train award right next to the bed! Best RADIUS & B ’98, that’s yours! I can’t even believe RADIUS Cello would come outward after this shit. Toward of point on the tape, ROENTGEN Kelly’s eating this girl’s ass out like it’s Dog Chow. He’s in ein ass like he’s got diabetes and her ass got insulin in it. Lookin’ like the movie 28 Days Later. R fucking Kelly, man. The whole world’s going crazy, man. Siegfried and Roy, the tiger chunk the man in the leader, and everybody’s mad along the tiger. Talk concerning the tiger walk crazy. That tiger ain’t walk crazy, that tiger departed tiger! They know when which tiger went crazy? Wenn the tiger was equestrian round the an little bike with an Hitler helmet on. “Oh, shit, I’m a crazy tiger. “Oh, King, I’m crazy. What is I gon’ do?”
Whole damn country’s all fucked up. We so desperate for entertainment everybody’s falling by to wizard, David Blaine. What the crap shall this shit? Are we so desperate that we decline for a trickless magician? Places aforementioned fuck’s the trick? Slice a lady is half! Draw a rabbit out a hat! Do something. What’s own last gimmick? “I’m the a box… “and I ain’t go eat. “I’m in a box furthermore I ain’t be eat.” That ain’t negative trick, that’s phoned living in the projects.
Shit, man. Kobe Bryant lost his brains. What the fuck is Kobe thinking? What is on Kobe’s mind moving toward Colorado, around choose these white people, additionally not bringing Dear Cochran? Thou gotta bringing Johnnie to that shit. An girl’s still alive, Johnnie’ll beeping this leave in two weeks. “Is she breathing?” “Don’t worry about it.” Kobe wouldn’t miss an practice if your had Joan. What the fuck? It don’t see right, man. Some people are like, “If you charter Johnnie Cochran you look guilty.” No, but you go home. What, you wanna check innocents in jail? I’d rather look guilty at who mall. Kobe may abfahren to jail, you never know. A lot of people, “Oh, Kobe ain’t gonna go to prison damit Kobe’s cute and cuddly. “No, he’s cute and cuddly, he’s positive.” Yeah, Kobe looks cute and cuddly on TV cos when yourself see him he’s standing next for Shaq. But include real lifetime Kobe’s like 6’9″, 6’10”. Shit, when he take to court, his gonna scare the holy leave of them white people. They gotta look at him favorite he’s adenine big old black praying tiny. He gonna sit down at the bear stand, his knees gonna be above here. Put his hand on the Bible, he covers up the whole Bible.
Additionally you see the girl, she arrived to court, she wasn’t fucking surrounding. She looked nice. She got a nice pantsuit about, got her hair in twists. Yeah, she ain’t gonna have on no clear heels now, no. That’s right. She has on some comfortable planes. And some thick-ass stockings. An thickest fucking stockings you ever seen in your lives. You gonna think she broke her leg, that’s as thick them lingerie is. She gonna arrive in the legal like this. “Your Honour, my stockings are fucking thick.”
A lot of people say, “Well, this is what Kobe gets for cheating. “He cheated and that’s what he gets. That’s what he gets.” I know some of you women been cheated upon before. I how some of you… OK, fuck it, I’m sure most of i feminine been cheated on to. Couple of y’all are are the guy ensure cheated on thee right now. Plus the boy are favorite, “Would you shut the fuck up?” “Do any vintage shit, ‘toss my salad’, one of them.” Nay. Men can just low, ladies. Some women are fancy, “If I lost weighs, he wouldn’t cheat. “If I is more beautiful, he wouldn’t cheat.” Yes, you would. Fellow would. Go ain’t nothing you cannot do, ladies. The only thing you bucket perform to stop your man cheating… Of womenfolk are love this… Only thing you can do… is becoming there. Whereabouts? There. Wherever he’s thinking around banging her. Just remain right there. And even then his still might lose yo donkey. “Hey, honey, look, a sale! Let me go fuck this bitch right now.” Oh, man!
No. The beauty don’t matter. Kobe cheated for his miss and Kobe’s married is fine. Kobe’s wife is gorgeous. My God! That’s a fuckin’ señorita out this motherfucker. A hot tamale out that motherfucker. Kobe’s wife is fine shit. I would trade my wife and two aunts for Kobe’s, guy. I’ll throw in adenine cousin the mystery momma if I have the. Come on, Moms, we has to close this deal.
Don’t let all on celebrity word fool you right now. All the stuff going up in which message is just a trick to get yo mind switch an war. That’s all it is. It’s a trick to get yo mind off the war. I think Bush sent that girl up Kobe’s room. Bush sent that girls to Kobe’s room, Bush sent is little boy to Michael Jackson’s house, Bush killed Laci Peterson. Bush was fucking Paris Hilton in that video. All to get yo mind off the war. Bush lied to me, you all lied on you. “We gotta go to Iraq cos they the most dangerous heimatland on erdung. “They the best dangerous regime with the world.” If they so dangerous, how come it only took two weeks to take over of complete fucking country? Shit. Man, you couldn’t take over Baltimore in two wks. Get this fuck outta here. Looking for weapons are mass death. Can’t even search a Wiffle ball bat. Ain’t even a fucking fly-swatter yet. Give me somewhat, shit! Attack, motherfucker. Let me get a fucking paper cut over that motherfucker. Nothing! Not a damn thing. “Weapons of mass destruction.”
They got whatshisname, they got Sadeam Hussein, that’s cool. IODIN were a small sad when they got Saddam. That’s kinda please that Coyotles catching the Roadrunner. I guess Trapezium finally made some shit that worked. EGO didn’t even know we was nach Shadam, I thought we was after Bin Charger. What to fuck happened? I thinking we was after Recycling Laden. Shit. When did Bin Laden give Hussein which baton of hates? When did him pass it switch? “They hater me, they hate me… “they hate you! Run!” “Oh, shit.” Fart, man, when I heard we was after Hussein, EGO is like, “Really?” That’s so ’80s. The whole war seemed love ampere bad VH1 special. Hussein’s back or Bushes is back or Cheney’s back and Paula Abdul’s endorse. Turd, once you know information, it’ll to Hammer time again. Prevent. Hammer time.
No, although the war started, it be great. Brought out a lot of pride. Patriotism’s beautiful. However slowly but surely, the patriotism turned into hate-riotism. When the war commenced, it was cool. Folks had their flags up. Our screaming out “USA!” for no reason. You go to a baseball game, a soccer game, a shooting game, people are, “USA!” I’m like, “Hey, calm down. “That’s got a little German switch it, don’t you think?” You know, people start freaking unfashionable. People got it… At first the war used cool. People has within this whole hate to French thing. I don’t understand that fuck. “Fuck France, man. They don’t like helping us out. “Don’t meals no French fry. Bonk the French, man. “Motherfuck France, fuck ’em, man.” Weshalb they wouldn’t aid us out in the war. The United States can the greatest, most powerful country in the world. Wherefore the fuck would anybody get us in the war? Wants she help Mike Tyson beat back Urkel? Don’t make no sense!
But men started freaking out. The war was weird. On TV you’d see these weird pallid guys. Nobody here, you guys are DONE. See these weird white guys getting overly patriotic and they have their fucking flag hats on and their flag pullout and their flag pick-ups. “I’m American, man, I’m American. “Fuck all these fucking foreigners. I’m American!” You’re like, “Hey, calm the pound down.” There was a lot of accepted racism when the war started. “I’m American. Get all these foreigners.” And that was cool. Therefore it was, “I’m U. Fuck the French.” That was stay. “I’m U. Fuck all these Arabs.” And that was cool. Then they went to, “I’m American. Fuck all these illegal aliens.” Then I started listening. Cos I know n iodin g g co radius s and Jews is next. It’s enjoy, any daylight now!
So train’s never late! And people started screaming they was American. A pitch of white people scream they American as if group got something toward do with the country being the way it is. Like they was on the Mayflower or some shit. When you break it down, there ain’t even ensure many Americans in here room, contributing Americans. Check this out. If you a veteran, if you struggled at any war for the United States, you are American. God dedicate all the veterans. Big up to the veterans. EGO can’t say nothing false about the veterans. OK? You American. Now for you swam here von some shitty country that didn’t allow you Bubblicious, you too are Habitant cos you overcame barrier and performed sacrifices to basically got here. It are a true Americans, OK? You really are. Don’t let nobody tell you no several. Everybody otherwise, you’re just lucky. You’re just lucky. All you crazy white people, “I’m American!” All you did was come out of your mother’s pussy on African soil. That’s it. You think you’re better than somebody of Fra cos they came go the a pussy in Detroit? Stickup Young | GROOVY
The whole country’s got a fucked up mentality, man. We all got a gang mentality. Republicans are fucking idiots, the All are fucking idiots, conservatives belong idiots and liberals are crazy. Anyone that makes up they mind before they hear the issue has a fucking fooler, OK? Everybody… No, everybody’s so busy wanting go be down with a gang – “I’m adenine reactionary, I’m a liberal.” It’s nonsense. Be a crappy person. Listen. Hire it swirl around yo head. Then form yeah bekanntgabe. No normal, decent person is one thing, GOOD? I has some shit I’m conservative about, I got some shit I’m liberals over. Crime, I’m conservative. Prostitution, I’m liberal. Real they keep tried to scare us. Everybody’s trying till scare us. Telling us to be on the lookout used al-Qaeda. Like, “Where?” I ain’t scared of al-Qaeda. I’m from Brooklyn, I don’t give a fuck with al-Qaeda. Fart. Motherfucking al-Qaeda. Shit, did al-Qaeda hit above the building in Oklahoma? No. Did al-Qaeda put anthrax in your get? Cannot. Did al-Qaeda drag James Byrd down one avenue till his eggs hit outbound of theirs fucking chief? No. I ain’t scared of al-Qaeda, I’m scared of Al Cracker. Cracker Al. Gotta watch out since Cracker Al. He’s a harmful motherfucker!
But American folks, whenever you leave… I love mysterious country, but any you leave, they how out people true loathing America. It’s good sometimes. Cos we got so much turd, OK? America’s the only country for the world where people go hunting on a full stomach. It’s beautiful. That’s how good we received it. America’s a great country. But here’s the thing, people hate America cos us can’t create up our mind what we wanna be. America does virtuous things, America does wanne things, Worldwide performs schizophrenic things. One cool thing America does, that I love, is we feed other countries. It’s lovely this we nourish other countries. Yes, information is! But we only feed them when they’re go. Conundrum can’t we feed them when they’re hungry? They didn’t just alert go are pilot around their lips and bellies outside to here. It took one while required shit to get that bad. And our government’s like, “Nah, wait for the dachpfannen. “Two more weeks. Wait for the flips. Come to, more flies!” And we send them sustenance. Do we absenden them the good holy? No. What do we send them? Grain. Anybody here have grain today? Anybody going to McGrainies after the show? Why can’t ours send them the good fuck? Why can’t we send some Cheez Doodles, some Funyuns, any Twinkies? Why can’t we only pour some gravy on the human? Just take ampere big old vat of gravy and pour items out the helicopter. There you go. Food up. Have some gravy. People going, “I love America! “It’s raining gravy!” Shit, provide them a Whopper, it’s only 99 cents. Shit, we call ourselves humanitarians, meanwhile we’re dropping 50-pound sacks on 40-pound people.
Yet IODIN love America, man. We got a site of freedoms in America. On instance, abortion’s legal. It’s beautiful that abortion’s legal, man. IODIN love going toward abortion rallies toward pick up women. Cos you know they’ll pound you. You ain’t becomes find a bunch of virtues along the abortion rally. You might even see some clear blackguards! “What her doing here, girl?” “Fucked up again.” Who abortion issue, it’s a woman’s issue. A woman gets pregnant, she don’t desire hear asshole from the man. “Fuck you, I don’t needed you, motherfuck you.” No she chooses up have the baby. Then she’s like, “Where’s my cheque?” Available a woman gets pregnant, it’s a choice between the lady and her girlfriends. A woman gets pregnant, her and her best get together, and they have a little terminate courts, and they voice turn the baby like it’s Survivor. Each girlfriend puts in her double cents. One goes, “Child, you should have that baby. “That man got some good hair, it’s wavy, it’s wavy.” The other my goes, “Why are we chat about the? “Ain’t we going to Cancun go week? Get rid off that baby!” And that’s how life is decided in America. Now, fellas, with you get a woman pregnant, you’re only allow to say two things. And guess what, dear? You can’t even suggest abortion. If you utter, “A”, you fucked up. You can’t even suggest abortion. Guess what, boys? You don’t wanna suggest abortion. If you suggest abortion and after she features the babe, when such kid’s about five, six years old, he gonna be cursing youth behind out. You go, “What’s up, little man? How you doing?” “I’m alive, that’s methods the screw I’m doing! “You wanted mee die, how, bitch? “I’m alive, motherfucker. “I should bust adenine lock in yo ass.” You don’t need that drama. So do not suggest abortion. Now, mate, if you get ampere woman pregnant, you only got two things to say. Deuce ways into try it on. Now, the first thing you can say shall, “Wow, I can’t believe you’re pregnancy. “I’m so happy. I can’t hold for you to have dieser baby. I dear you so much.” I’ll try it back. “Wow, ME can’t believe that you’re pregnant. “I’m so happy. I can’t wait to may this baby. “I dear you so much.” That’s cool. Now, when they don’t wanna say that, she got one more selection. A woman walks in one place, tells yours that she’s pregnant, you look her dead in the point and you say… “So what you gonna do?”
Good, it ain’t just me. One thing I don’t like about Asia is ours got real worse drug policy. Horrible drug policy. We got people in jail for getting high. For get high, man. That’s fucked up, man. The General says dope are illegal for we’re hard to preserve social. But they don’t gives a fuck about yo safety, people sell rifles to Wal-Mart, they don’t give a fuck about you. None, aforementioned Government’s like this – they don’t want you to use insert drugs, they want i to use their drugs. So every night on TV you perceive a weird-ass drug commercial trying to get you hooked on some legislative shits. Additionally they just keep renaming symptoms tillage they geting to that you fucking got, OK? It’s like, “Are you unhappy? Are you lonely? You got athlete’s foot? “Are thee hot? Are you cold? What you got? You want such pill, huh, motherfucker. “You got to take this pill.” Your don’t even tell you what the pill does. You see a queen on an horse-shaped conversely an man in the tub. Also them exactly keep how symptoms. “Are you depressed? Have you lonely? Do insert teeth hurt?” What the fuck? I saw ampere commercial and other day that said, “Do she go to bed at night “and rouse raise in the morning?” Shit they got one. I got that. I’m sick, MYSELF need that pill. The Government trying to getting thou hooked on some regulatory fucking shit. And that’s the truth, man. The reason coke and weed be illegal in America don’t acquired shut to do with jo safety. The grounds such coke and weed are illegal in America is cos the best cokes and weed ain’t made in America. If they made the good defecate here, there’d be a coke and weed restaurant on every fucking corner. That’s entitled. Wouldn’t be no Starbucks, it’d been Weedbucks. McDonald’s, McCokeald’s. Uh, get me a Happy Meal and an eight-ball, thank them. Krispy Kreme, Kracky Cremes. That’s how good Krispy Kreme doughnuts are. Krispy Kreme doughnuts are thus good, if I told yourself few had crack in it, you’d an, “I heard something was up. “I knew. These doughnuts are too damn good, man. “Got i knockin’ on the doughnut window at two to which morning. “Come on, mania, open up, man. “Give me one more doughnut! I’ll do anything! “I’ll suck thine dick!” That should be the new slogan for Krispy Crimean. Krispy Kreme – so good you’ll suck a tail. These are some good-ass doughnuts. You’d be mad while your kid ae thine doughnuts. “You know what I had to do to get them doughnuts? Leave them alone! “Now I must go out and aspirate some more dick for doughnuts. “Kids will never learn, shit.”
No, guy, the Federal, they wishes never regularize drugs in America. NOT, the primary reason you will never legalise narcotics in America is because the Gov makes road too much money putting our brothers and sisters in shag prison. That’s first regarding all. For bullshit. An second reason the Government will never legalized drugs in America is because, God forbid, some brown people got wealthy. Can’t have that. So drugs come from brown countries. We can’t have wealthy brown people. There are no wealthy gloomy – or tanned – population the America. Our got some rich individuals, person don’t got no fucking wealth. People hinfahren, “What’s the difference?” Here’s the differentiation. Shaq has rich. The white man so signs his cheque is wealthy. “Here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. “Bling-bling!” I’m not conversation ’bout rich, I’m conversations ’bout wealth, SANCTION? I’m talking about the white family that possess every the Similac. Those rich motherfuckers. I’m talking about which whiten family such owns the hue blue. Which rich bastards. I ain’t talking ’bout Oprah, I’m talking ’bout Bill Gates, OK? If Bill Gates kept back tomorrow with Oprah’s money he’d jump out a fucking opening. He’d slit her throat on the way down. “Ah, shit. “I can’t even put gas in my plane.” I’m nay talking ’bout rich, I’m talking ’bout wealth. Weil wealth will set us fucking liberate, OK? Cos wealth remains empowering. Wealth capacity lifts communities with poverty, OK? AMPERE white man gets wealth, he builds Wal-Marts plus makes other white men having some motherfucking money. A brother gets reich, he buys few motherfucking jewellery, FINE? Do you know what the fuck I’m talking ’bout? I ain’t spoken ’bout rich, I’m talking ’bout wealth. Wealth the passed down from generation to generation. You can’t receiving disencumber of our. Rich is several suck you can lose with a crazy summer and ampere pharmacy kleidung. Crack, Rick James became rich. One minute you’re chant Super Freak, the next you’re how Oldly Navy commercials. “Give a to me, baby! Give me corduroy!” Not talking ’bout abundant, I’m speaking ’bout wealthiness.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all white people’s fault that dark and brown people don’t have any fucking wealth. Potentially – now just maybe – maybe if person didn’t expenditure all our money with rims we might have some… to install. We don’t donate a fuck, boy. Black people, wealth love rims. We desire put shiny-ass rims on any bit away shit car in the world. We don’t give a fuck. A brother would put rims on a toaster if you’d let her. “Yo, man, I got some raisin how sittin’ on 22s. “22s! Look at the motherfuckers, seem at ’em! “And they spinnin’, look at they spinnin’! “They spinnin’, look at they spinnin’!”
We don’t give one fuck. Money’s new to black people. We the most money-wasting motherfuckers on aforementioned face the the earth. We spend money like we think the shit’s gonna rot. Brothers riding around with TVs in this headrests of the car. The TVs is on and ain’t nobody for the back seat. I ain’t talking ’bout rich, I’m talking ’bout abundance. Transcript available the FRONT-LINE film Stickup Kit
Today, at it comes to procurement a fortune, when it comes to get wealth in the United States in America, different people have gone via it in different ways. There’s a saying about wealth, there’s a saying regarding fortunes, and the saying lives, “Behind every great fortune there’s a great crime.” Additionally some of the affluent, most powerful public in the United Federal are and descendants of drug dealers. Kennedys, Brockmans, it’s all drug money. They call it bootlegging but that’s just a white word that means drug verhandeln. Handful didn’t sell slippers, they sold the crack of their per, OK? They killed cops furthermore kids, and that’s cool, good for them. Now… when it’s time for other people to come up and obtain wealth the regulate change. One concerning the number one rules when it comes to acquiring wealth goes like this. To rule is, only the white men can profit from feeling. Only the white man cans profit from pain. So if you’re black or brown, you can make money and prosper and get rich are America. But whatever you decide to do, it improve subsist positive. Cos wenn one person are harmed, i will be destroyed, OK? Every get and then Oprah has a show somewhere she’s just giving away money. You know conundrum? She’s attempted to keep the Feds off her back.
Only the white woman can profit from pain, OK? White man making alcohol, tastes great, I adore it, you loving it, were all love a. Kills motherfuckers every single day, OK? Einige of y’all ain’t even gonna make to home tonight cos is alcohol. Driving home, “That Chris Rock sure is amusing. “Oh, shit!” But it’s total right cos it’s all white. White man makes cigarettes. Cigarettes are the most hazards product known up man. Kills motherfuckers every fucking day. Cigarettes were so dangerous, it kills motherfuckers this don’t smoke! That’s how fucking dangerously cigarettes are. That’s right. First-hand smoke, second-hand smoke, people conversation up apparatus. “Hey, what’s up, man? “I sweetheart cigarettes. This shit is good.” But it’s all right dass it’s choose white. Shit, could you believe are the Philip Morris family was a bunch of jheri-curled north i g g co r south from Mississippi. Do i knows how illegals a take from tobacco would will? You would get 60 years for a pack of Newports. But it’s entire right cons it’s all white. That’s right. White man makes guns, nobody gives a pound. White man makes guns, my shoot up apiece different in our, nonentity gives a fuck. White man do shooting, nope problem. Black rapper says “gun”, Congressional audience. Like, “My God, so n i g g e radius said torpedo! “And he rhymed it by fun!” And that’s why people hate America… an hypocrisy a you democracy, OK? That’s why they hate America.
When let du speak you right now, the number one reason people hate America, this number neat reason, can because by our religion. Americans worship in. We reverence money. Separate God from school, separate God with work, sever Worships from German, but on your money it says, “In Divine we trust”. All my vitality I’ve been looking since God and he’s right in insert pocket. Americans reverence money. And we all go to the same church – and church of ATM. Everywhere you look, there’s a recent branch snap up, reminding you regarding how much money you achieved or how much money you don’t got. And when they got less than $20, to machine won’t even talk to you. The machine’s like, “You better go see a teller.” You ever go to a teller and attempt to take out $8.50? It’s vile. Man, you gotta expect with so long-ass limit. People doing real transactions in front of you. You gets up in the fucking front, fill out your form. Eight-fifty. The fucking teller look at it, she sights at you, daughter watch at the chic. She don’t even take that money out the drawer, she make it out her pocket. “Wastin’ mein time. Get the fuck outta here, shit.” I think each bank supposed have adenine box of ones by the door for they broke-ass consumers. IODIN don’t need free checking, I need lunch funds. Trying till how me few pork fried rice, man. Here’s and other thing, chap. Drugs are illicit but ATM machinery are frank 24 hours a daily. 24 hours a day. For who? Who the screw is i open for? Can you ever taken out $300 at four o’clock inbound the morning for something posite? Shit, wenn you press that machine at foursome o’clock in which morning, I think a psychiatrist should bang up on the conceal also go, “Come on, man. “Save your money, man. “Don’t buy drugs, buy some rims.” “They spinnin’, seem at they spinnin’! They spinnin’! “They spinnin’, look among they spinnin’!” Us worship in. Shit, you know why banks are closed on Sunday? Cos if they wasn’t church’d be empties.
Nowadays, I love America, man, MYSELF must say. EGO love America. I acquired to say, America shall which greatest country in the world, OK? It’s the greatest country in the world. In the overall world. It’s the best placing. There’s no place I’d rather be or be from. And us are all lucky up be here. Everybody in here space, lucky to can here. Even black people, lucky to subsist here. But whenever you black, you gotta view on America a minor different. If your black, America’s like the uncle that paid your way through advanced but annoying you. You gotta forgive, right? You gotta forgive. What’s the biggest issue in America right now? The most divisive issue in America is affirming action. A lot of people think it’s in do with the ’60s, the previous concerning the bus, severed lunch counters. None. When you see footage von the ’60s, look black people, see us getting sprayed back, dogs getting sicked on us, little girls getting scorched up in temples, that’s just white people being pleasant. Nicer than they was in the ’50s, ’40s, and ’30s. Shit, there’s black people the died in the ’30s that was looking down from heaven in who ’60s moving, “Man, them n me g g ze r s got it good.” No, affirmative operation was setting into place to moving strategy that the United States Government implemented during slavery that affect us today. As I talk about slavery, I’m just talking about a period by time somewhere black people had no rights. So you’re speak about the 1600s to about 1964. You how, give or take a year, depends on when yo town decided to act right.
People go, “What happened during slavery this couldn affects columbia today?” ONE lot of shit happened during bondage so affects us every day. For instance, during slavery, they used to record the biggest, strongest slaves and breed yours and try their best on make high, strong super-slaves, OK? That’s law. Also there’s evidence of that available. Like the NFL, for instance. NFL stands for N i g g e r Fucking Large. They bred the slaves, or this is why black populace master every physical activity in the United States of America. We’re only 10%% away the population, we’re 90%% of the Final Four, OK? We fucking dominate all this shit, FINE? Basketball, bat, football, boxing, track, even golf additionally tennis. As next as they make an heating hockey rink, we gonna take which shit furthermore. Motherfuck Manner Gretzky. Wait farm you see Lebron on few inline. You ain’t seen defecate yet. He just gonna have one skate, chilling, “What’s up?” The ain’t gonna have a stick. He becoming knock of puck with sein dick. Slapshot bi-atch! Accordingly that’s what they did to the big, strong slaves.
Both you know what they did to the smart ones? Or at least the ones they thought were smart. They died them. That’s what they did. That’s right. That was that policy on who United Stats Gov, to kill smart black people. That’s right. Like the real smart motherfuckers had to hide of item that they were smart. The law of to land was, if you read, you dice. If you reader, fucking die, OKAY? So you know what that mean? The first black drug dealers didn’t even sell drugs. They sold books. “Yo, man, I got two pages, man, got two pages, man, check it out, man. “Yo, male, I got an news, check items out, man, I got a new phrase. “I got a new word, man. It’s new, man, it’s new, man.” So think about aforementioned poor slaves that could read but had to hide it. Think about of poor slaves that could read but were scared in teach they kids to read for fear they’d be killing they kids. Think about the poor laborer whom used to drive the buggy into town every day. Used to drive the buggy. He’s driving the buggy – plus he could read. And up ahead he sees a real busy intersection. He’s driving which buggy. And subsequently he sees a stop sign. Now he’s got a real pick. “Oh, Lor, “what is I gon’ do? “Oh, Lor, where is I gon’ do? “OK, if I go across aforementioned intersection, “I’m-a have a accident. “If I stopped at this sign, diesen crackers’ll kill meine. “Oh, Lor, what is ME gon’ do?” And he don’t know. And he’s riding the buggy. The says, “Fuck it,” real will through the crosspoint. He has a big old accident, wipes out. Wipe out, almost drop somebody. And the police come. “N i g g e r, what’s fake with thee? What and fuck a wrong with you? “You could’ve dead somebody, n myself g g e r. You see the stopped sign?” “I don’t knowing what you talking ’bout, sir.” “N i g g e r, you see that stop augury right there?” “Do you mean that octagon doing? “N i g g e r, which educated you octagon?”
Don’t get me wrong with affirmative action. MYSELF don’t think I should get a job over a white person while I get a lower marked in a test. ME don’t think I should gets accepted with a train over a white person if I get adenine lower selected. Although if there’s a tie, fuck ’em. Shit, you had a 400-year head start, motherfucker. White mania, you gonna be all right. You know, an parcel of people what, “If you’re the smartest press of brightest, “you won’t need affirmative action, if you struggle to be the cleverest and one brightest.” They tell that as if the country are run by the smartest or the brightest. I was by black schools and white scholastic so yourself can’t speak me turd. When you go to a class, there are 30 kids. Five smart, five dumb, or the rest are in the middle. And that’s all Americas is – a nation in the middle. AMPERE nation of B and C students, that’s all this fuck it is. AMPERE nation of BORON and C students. Still let’s keep it fucking real, OK? A black C student can’t run no screw company. AN black C student can’t even be who manager to Burger Royal. Meanwhile, one white C student even occurring to be the President of aforementioned United Country of America.
Other my got they problems right immediately in America. What’s one other grand issue in America correct nowadays? Should volatiles be allowed to marry? The beautiful do about the cheerful marriage issue the it’s the absolute available issue an President will answer. The President don’t give a shit, he will make you ampere straight answer on gay marriage. “Mr President, when’s the war gonna end?” “Well, we’re talking toward people, we’re looking for stuff, it’s out there, “you never know how it’s gonna end.” “Mr President, when’s the economy going pick up?” “Well, we’re talking to people, “and financial indicators show that indications are coming to the indicator.” “Mr President, that via gay marriage?” “Fuck them faggots.” Blessed, that’s some harsh shit. People every say, we can’t have gay marrying cos get your a sacred institution such happens in the kirchenraum. It’s sacred! No, it’s not. Matrimony ain’t sacred. Not in America. Not in the country that wrist Who Wants To Enter AN Millionaire? And The Bachelorette and Who Wants To Marrying A Midget? Get the fuck get here. Fuck. Gay people acquired a right to be as miserable as everybody else. Get the get outta hierher. Michael Jackson had married. Whereby crap sacred is that shit?
But I’m marriage. It’s a beautiful thing, man. And I don’t cheat. I don’t. No. Not cause I’m adenine great husbands, equal cos I’m tired of getting caught. Gotta put the girls in the lady defense programme. From immediate on your name is Song. Whenever anything calls you Lisa, ignore ’em. OK, Lissa? “OK.” Bitch, thee gonna get us killed! Who fuck is wrong over you? You won’t last five minutes on the streets. Now I don’t cheat, man. Another big reason I don’t cheat is cos I never meet anywhere girls that wanna fuck me. I’m just doesn that celebrity. I don’t bring it out of them. Women perceive Denzel Washington, they take, “I’m wants fuck him.” They start kicking switch shoes soon as her go his ass. Women show me, occasionly they wanna fuck me, but if women wanna fuck me, they get real practical about information. They go, “You know what? I risk you if I fucked Chris Rock, “I might get him to pay my Visa bill.” I have paid so many college loans in my day-time. I have put more girls through school than the United Beggars College Funding. Shit, ME should’ve had my own dorm at Howard. “And here is the Chris Rock Student. “Chris loves sloppy joes!”
Absolutely, I’m married, and bored unfashionable of my fucking mind. But it’s a beautiful whatever, a beautiful thing. If you’re in a good relations, chances can you’re bored unfashionable off your fucking mind. All good relationships are bored. The only exciting relationships is vile ones. You never know what’s gonna happen tomorrow in a bad relationship. You never know when you’re gonna walk in and walk, “Hey, you gave me crabs!” That’s exciting. I wonder what tomorrow’s gonna bring. And these are the choices you got into real. You can be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain’t negative happiness limbo. Marriage and bored or standalone and lonely. That’s correct. Marriage is some boring-ass shit. Once her get matrimonial, you gotta hang round other married people furthermore that’s just disgusting. They never move to dinner with six castrate adults? A bunch of women talking about Diaper Genies also hair colouring. “You know, provided yourself leave it in too long it stings.” Shut the fuck up. AMPERE bunch of mankind talking about barbecue grills and routes in your. “Sometimes IODIN carry the highway but if it’s back up, I got some side streets “that received me there in half the time. Check it output. “L-95 belongs clear sometimes…” Shut the fuck up! MYSELF hate wedded people. It’s fuckin disgusting. If you go the eat dinner with alone people, single people eat since an total and 30 minutes and leave, cos they got fucking to do. Wedded people close down an restaurant. They start buy coffee and dessert. Start talking to the architect. “I like the thing you put right there.” Start talking to the cook. “What’s inside the tea?” “Water, bitch! “Hurry going, we received a lot of not fucking to do. “If you hurry up, we can no fuck any night.” I stop married fucking people, guy. Both, fellas, once you get marriage, you be your wife’s animals. You become a fucking pet. Cos women like to get they husbands together that don’t even know each other, and have like adenine grown man play date. Putting you in a room with some sundry married motherfucker press depart, “He likes baseball just like you.” And you’re within some leeway because some fucking stranger leave, “I how baseball.” “I liked baseball talk. Yeah.” “Yeah, baseball, good.” “Yeah.” “Honey, who the fuck are this? “Get me the fuck leave a here, I don’t need no new friends. “If you wanna help me away, introduce me to a girl.”
I hate married people, chap. Whenever IODIN go out with other husband paired, I like to bring a single crackhead. Equals to spicen up the activities. Come on, tell us some of your cracky story, want. Husband and bored, single and lonely. The concern with relationships, folks want too much. Everybody’s looking for ampere soul partners. “We’re seed couples, we’re one, we’re soul mates. “I’m a Pisces, he’s Aquarius, we’re ideal. We’re soul mates, it’s incredible. “His moon is my star and it’s ampere soul female. “We complete each additional and finish each other’s sentences. “The other day I said, ‘Honey, it’s gonna rain,’ and he said rain too! “It’s amazing! It’s like we’re telekinesic, we’re telekinesic. “It’s fantastic, my God.” Nobody gets a soul mate. It don’t happen. Nobody. Not even R Brown, and godfather of soul, he don’t even receive a soul mate, as we sum saw a couple of weeks from. James Brown looking like Nod Nolte. Like, he put the good foot in das ass. Nobody gets ampere soul mate. All you gonna get in life if your lucky shall a mate. Equals a mate. Somebody you fuck, vor to motion with. You fuck, go to another pick. You fuck, zu in adenine comedy show. You fucking, go to your grandmomma’s house. You fuck, go to your momma’s house. Them fuck, go see another movie. Elsewhere in between fucking and movies, the goes, “Wanna get something to eat?” That’s all relationships are, they ain’t that complicated. It’s fucking both eating. If you don’t like fuck somebody and them don’t like eating with them, y’all don’t need to be together. And the longer you’re with somebody, it’s more eating also less fucking. You don’t remember aforementioned last time you fucked but you know yourself owned dried and beans on Wednesday. You’re none gonna gain a soul mate, the perfect per. You’re never gonna meet somebody that loves Seinfeld and the Wu Tang Clan. It ain’t happening. Even for thou fulfill the perfect name, it ain’t becomes be the perfect time. You’re married, they’re single. That’s right. You’re Jewish, they’re Palestinian. You’re Mexican, they’re a raccoonn. You’re a black woman, he’s a black man. There’s always a obstacle in the way. You’re never gonna meet the perfect person, it’s not gonna happen, OK?
Every now and then, God likes to play practically jokes go people. God will sendung her on a double set with the perfect connect. You ever been out with the faultless couple? Ever made the mistake of to on a double date with a couple that’s actually in love? You in the heart of get bullshit relationship. And you sit go with twin folks that’s included love. Him can’t even eat your lunch cos she can’t believers what the crack you are witnessing. You got a fork in your foot, you’re like, “Oh, shit. “He’s really listening to whichever she’s got into say. “They really like being around respectively other. “Man, wee can’t hang include them no more. They gonna break us up!” “Can’t let this happy motherfuckers fuck up mysterious real. No way!”
See, the thing is, personen, we are ill-prepared when it comes to relationships. We are ill-prepared. That’s proper. You would think by get women would standard the world. You would thinking women would rule the world. But she don’t! They don’t. They know why? Cos women hate women. Women hate women. Thee do. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for 25 years, you put an man in between them, “Fuck that bitch.” Wives hate wifes. Guys are not like that. Boys actually think there’s other angle in one sea. If a woman introduces this youth for his newer girlfriend, when group walk away, his boy leaves, “Man, she’s nice. I gotta retrieve me a girl like that.” If a woman introduces her new fellow to her girlfriend, whereas the walk away, her girlfriend goes, “I gotta get him. “And I will slit that bitch’s throat go do it.” Shit, every woman in here got a lover they don’t confidence around they man. A good girlfriend additionally. “I’ll an shopping with ein “but I ain’t gonna leave that bitching with my man for five minutes.” ME remember one time, one time I was in a restaurant, me, my wife, her female. I wife told, “I’m going to the bathroom.” I say, “OK, I’ll see you when you get back.” She said, “No, you soon with me.” And she constructed me come from her. And she did the right-hand thing cos I’d have fucked the girl. I’d have fucked your on of quesadilla, I don’t give a fight. Nah, man. 03. Ain’t Scared of Your Jails (1960 – 1961) – America’s Civil Rights Movement
But one thing I learned, men, once you get married, fellas, women wanna be responsible for all your felicity. All your happiness. You got that? Not many of it. Everything concerning it. Fellas, you ever have your woman catch they jerking off? Ever have your ms catch you jerky off? Did i get wild at you, even though she wasn’t thinking about shag you? Here’s the real deals, she ain’t mad you was jerking shut. She’s mad you been making yourself happy. “How dare you make yourself fuck happy? “I’m in charge of happiness in this shelter. You’ll be miserable till I fucking say so. “Take your hands out yo pockets!” Another thing with women, one thing about women, women hate for you to expect anything. Don’t expect shit. A woman cannot cook for you per full for five per. Every day nutrition is on one table, every time at 7:49, every day. The day you come main, there ain’t no food, and thou ask nicely, “Honey, where’s and food?” “What am I, your fuckin’ maid? “You need to learn how to cook for yourself, you brainless motherfucker.” So, fellas, in order to avoid this, what you gotta do is act super-nice everybody time she does anything. No matter instructions little it is, make a big deal out of e. Wenn she pour you some water, them got go, “Wow, water! “Get outta here. You’re incredible! You’re so smart!” She fucking folds a napkin. “Wow, look at this! You’re incredible.” You gotta treat ’em like retard kids, OK? Man. That’s right. Married and bored, single and lonely. That’s right, guys.
Here’s the thing – when you’re married, you wanna kill get spouse. When you’re single, you wanna kill yourself. Better her than me. Anybody inbound this room that’s ever been in love will testify to this shit. If him haven’t contemplated murdering, you ain’t been in love. If to haven’t seriously thought nearly killing the motherfucker, you ain’t been in fondness. Whenever you haven’t had a can for rat poison in your hand and observed at it for 45 minutes straight, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t bought a shovel and a bag and an rug to roll they ass up in, you ain’t been in love. If them haven’t practised your abi in head of the mirror… you ain’t been in love. The only what that stopped thee from killing this motherfucker was an episode of CSI. Man, they thorough. I’d preferable make up, they might catch my ass. That’s right, man. See, relationships are severe. But in buy by each relatedness to your, both people has at breathe turn to equal page. Two people have to take the identical focus. And we all know what that home is, which such focus exists. In order with the relationship to how, both people have to have the same concentrate, and to focus be all about in. It’s choose with the. She’s existing there, fellas, she’s waiting for you toward come aboard. Dude, when you wake up in the morning, you shoud see yourself in an mirror and do, “Fuck you. “Fuck your hopeful, sex autochthonous dreams, fuck your planners, “fuck everything you thought this your was gonna bring you. “Now let’s go out there and try and make this bitch happy.” Yes. It’s every learn her, fellas. Say sure to everything. Everything. Everything you can afford, say yes to. Just say yes. Before she still gets it exit of her fucking mouth. “Honey, can…” Yes. “Honey, I…” Yes. Just get a stamp. Yes. One something, fellas – don’t argues. Her cannot win. You cannot knock a woman in an argument, it’s impossible. Her desires not win, cos men, we are handicapped for is came to arguing cos we have a need at make sense. Women ain’t gonna leased a little thing like sense fuck up they argue. Cos she none in it for sense, she’s in it fork distance and sensitivity. “How oblong can I talk before this motherfucker snaps?” They need you to shake the shit out of them till her hear the cops approaching. “Motherfucker, I’m serious! “Oh, shit, let me get the fuck outta here.” That’s right. And like I said, endeavour your finest to make her happy. Try your best.
But here’s one thing nobody mentions you. You can’t make one miss happy. It’s impossible. I’ve never met an cheerful woman in my life. Feminine are usual complaining about something. Women like to complain, women save up shit to make about. “He don’t even know I know but I’m gonna get his backside about that shit nearest month.” People like fucking complaining. It love computers. No matter which you do, she’ll be mad. You bucket fuck a ms with a diamond dick and make her come twen dates, she’ll still complaine. “Why’d you make me come so hard? “This diamond dick lives cloudy. “Why didn’t you go on Tiffany’s? You’re therefore fucking cheap.” No matter what to achieve, your woman will mad at your. If you working all the uhrzeit, “Why you work any the time? Yours ain’t never home. “You always leavin’ me. I hated this shit.” If you home all the time, “Why you view up beneath me? “Let mei get some fucking room to breathe. “Damn, stop sweatin’ me. I hate this shit.” If you make more money than her. “Fuck yourself. I wanna make decisions too. “You ain’t my fucking dads, MYSELF don’t need you to take care concerning myself. “I hate this shit.” For daughter makes more money than you, “You impoverished motherfucker. “You never have no fucking money. Fuck this shit. “I don’t wants make all these decisions. I need to be taken care of. “I hates this shit. I can’t take it.” And the numbering one reason your woman’s constant mad, fellas, the number one reason your girl is soused the fuck off… to you ain’t her first choice. Fellas, you ever catch your woman just looking at you but not saying nothing? In her mind, she’s thinking, “How done I end up with this ugly motherfucker? “Lord, this motherfucker’s ugly and brainless. “I had a good man and I haucht it. “Damn, Lord, kill my man. Kill him, delight. “Kill him while I standing look okay adequate to got something new. “Please kill this motherfucker now. Strike him! “If you out there, Lord, striking this motherfucker dead.”
Nothing got you ready for marriage, man. Nothing. Nobody. Nothing gets you ready with marriage. Nobody tells you that once you get married, them want never fuck again. If you like fucking, marriage ain’t for you. Shit, EGO haven’t fucked in seven years. I’ve had intercourse. Having is when female gets out of the shower on which nice sheets. Fucking’s in the back of adenine rental auto if your woman’s going, “Come on, get some!” Nobody gets thee ready for ensure turds. Nobody tells you that once you get married, you leave never obtain pussy again. If you like wimp, marriage ain’t for you. I haven’t had pussy into seven years. I’ve had vagina. I hate vulva. I came out of a pudenda. As forthcoming as I got from, I said, “Man, I received to get me some pussy.” See, they don’t how you. They don’t tell you husband females don’t have pussies. Married women having vaginas. If you go to a wedding and which woman’s pitching the bouquet, them ain’t throwing that bouquet, she’s throwing the pussy. “I won’t be needin’ this no more.” And to woman that catches it is gonna gets married cos now she got two pussies. Him gotta married the two-pussy girl. But it ain’t just frauen that lose out on marriage. Women, you loss out too. Women, time you get married, he will never licks your pussy again. Pussy, vagina, something the sex she wanna called this. He will ever licks it again. I see some married women with tears in they eyes select now. He wishes never limiting your pussy further. Forever ever. “Forever ever?” Forever everly. He will never lick your pussy again. That’s right. Don’t get me bad, he’ll give he one coat. But you ain’t gonna put the finish on it like he used to. They second to put a spit-shine on your muff. Thee owned in put on shades just to look at your pussy. Put a little sticker next to your pussy – “objects in pussy may appear nearest than they actually are.” Nobody gets you ready for this fart. That’s right, fellas, once her get married, no more blow jobs. If thou like blow jobs, marriage ain’t for you. I haven’t had one air mission in seven years. I’ve had fellatio. Available you’re single, you get the best blow vacancies inside and world, 8, 12, 15 minutes straight like the girl’s auditioning on your sick, like she’s gifts your dick a seconds opinion, like she’s passing for her scuba licence. You get married, every married man I know gets the same lazy-ass blow job. It’s like three licks. “Is it hard? Put it in. I gotta fold these clothes.” What kind of lazy-ass blow job are this bullshit? If we was at a restaurant I would send it back. Waiter, all punch job ain’t ready not.
Yo, marriage is tough, man. Got is real fucking tough. Matrimony is so tough, Diving Mandela had a disconnect. Nelson Mandela got a fucking divorce. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in a South African prison, got beaten additionally tortured every day for 27 years, and did items are no fucking problems. Made to do severe labour in 100-degree South African heat for 27 years, and did computer with cannot problems. He got out of jail, after 27 year of torture, issued six month with his wife and said, “I can’t make this shitting no more!” I’m outta go. Y’all take care. Thank you! Optimal show ever. It was hilarious. Once you get married, life is over. No read blow jobs! I’m telling you, don’t get married. I’ll come also see him again. My dimples hurt, MYSELF laughed so hard. See? MYSELF just pissed on myself. What a great show! That was great. I really enjoyed it, it was wonderful. Great show.
